So, you Fancy a House in Paradise?...continued

The following is a sequence of events which began seven years ago when I first got ‘involved’ in Thailand and if you think this story is unreal, then cock an ear to any one of thousands of stories, which end far worse than mine. I will make one excuse before continuing, by saying, that at the time, my heart was young and my brain obviously haggled.

My experiences in Thailand prior to seven years ago, were relatively 'normal' with holiday visits maybe 2 or 3 times each year for the previous 3 years,  always staying in Patong.

Most of those previous years involved my first 'love' in Thailand, Chatree from Trang Province, who I met on the first night of my very first visit to Phuket and who, on reflection, was perhaps one of the most easy going people I could have met. He worked as a doorman at a gay bar which he hated and subsequently returned to Trang to work on rubber trees with his father.

Then came Golf or Gob as the Thais would say and that's where the problems started.....not immediately, but gradually. I was  totally infatuated by this guy, who I first met  leaning on his hands at a bar / restaurant on Patong Beach, where he worked as a kitchen assistant.

I will include my up to date comments and thoughts, in italics........  

Golf was from Bangkok and like many Thais had made his way to Phuket to find work for the short term and no doubt, find a farang (foreigner) for the longer term.

Most who head south have already attended the University of 'How to find and deal with a Farang' and have passed with flying colours.

Golf was no exception and although he wasn't working as a 'bar boy' as such knew how to make the right noises to keep the interest of his 'farang' . I was very happy with the situation and my subsequent visits included collecting Golf in Bangkok and heading down to Phuket. There were a few 'necessary' purchases made along the way, including a mobile phone, gold chain and a new 'chopper' motorbike, which Golf proudly displayed around Patong. There were also payments into his bank account during the time I was away from Thailand, working.

During my next visit, which was shortly after the Tsunami, we decided to pay a call to Robin, a long standing friend of more than 30 years who had moved to Chalong in the south of Phuket some 20 years previously. My local pub back in the UK, knowing my connections with Phuket, had raised a substantial amount of money for the Tsunami, which they entrusted to me to put to good use. Hearing of anomalies with the distribution of funds I felt I should talk to Robin, who had far more local knowledge, to find the best and fairest way of distributing the money. (Along the way, I met the Chairman of the local Rotary Club, who was ‘hands on’ with the Tsunami, specifically children who were affected and I was invited to their next meeting, where I handed over the funds and  the 'minutes' of the meeting sent back by the Rotary Club to the pub in the UK). 

The after effects of the Tsunami were of an even stronger bonding with Phuket and the people.

Back to the plot.........I had thoughts during my frequent visits to Phuket of maybe having a base here, rather than paying hotel prices. Obviously I had spoken to Golf on the subject and needless to say he was very enthusiastic. During the short visit to Robin, Golf drove around the estate and returned with a phone number which was displayed on an empty property around the corner. We viewed the house from the outside and rang the number. The owner was round within 30 minutes and gave us a conducted tour of the inside of the property. It was in good condition, albeit dated, but with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, at 2 million Baht was good value.

(The Baht rate at the time, was 70 to the pound and is now barely 50). 

I returned to the UK and Golf returned to Bangkok. I arranged to transfer the money from the UK to Robin's account in Thailand. The property and specifically the land cannot be in the name of a foreigner but must be in the name of a Thai national. With heart still ruling the head the house was signed into Golf's name and whilst I was away on a working contract, Robin supervised a builder to do the necessary renovation work. Upon my return, some months later, I was suddenly the proud owner (or so I thought) of a newly renovated detached bungalow.

There are ways around the ownership situation, by either forming a company, or buying an apartment (recently built blocks of apartments are split 49% foreign ownership 51% Thai ownership). You can also take out a lease from the land owner for 30 years + 30 + 30 (which is the option I now have taken)

The one huge difference between staying in Patong and living in Chalong is that in Patong, everything is within walking distance, whereas in Chalong you need transport wherever you need to go, so a car was the next consideration. I was happy to buy second hand, but Golf in his usual persuasive way, convinced me I should buy new, blaming the Tsunami at having damaged many of the second hand cars (which was bullshit). Upon viewing at the Honda showroom I ended up buying a Honda City and..... wait for it.....putting it in Golf's name.

Although it wasn't made clear to me at the time, a foreigner can buy a car in his or her own name, providing you have a Retirement Visa or ’O’ visa (not a tourist visa) and is made even easier if you apply for a Thai driving license. Also, before you think I'm a total prat, I was at this stage, still very much in love / infatuated by this guy.

Having now furnished the house and bought a car, it was time to leave Phuket and return to work. During my time away, I had several emails from Robin expressing concern about the number of people who were staying at the house, in my absence and wondering if I was aware.
Of course I wasn't aware and needless to say, by the time I had returned some three months later, the 'lodgers' had moved out. I saw Golf and my car, very briefly before getting a phone call that my car was being held in a 'pound' at Phuket Police Station and would be held there until the court case had been completed!!!!!

Golf then condescended to pay me a visit and explain that he and a Thai friend had run through a Police checkpoint, switched drivers before being caught by the police and charged with dangerous driving and drunk driving. His friend (who was not driving, but had swapped to the drivers seat) was being held in a Police cell at Phuket Police Station.

Continued…………..

So, having been for a brief time, the proud owner of a new Honda City, I was now resigned to visiting a local car rental company and making alternative arrangements.

Upon peeling further layers from the ‘onion’ I discovered that the court case could be as far as 3 to 4 months hence, or even longer.

Golf in his usual manipulative way (you may get a hint that the infatuation is now fading)

then advised me that the car could been released from the police ‘pound’ for the sum of 350,000 Baht, but was afraid to deal with the situation himself as he was scared of the Police. With the help of Jom (a close Thai friend) we went to the Police Station and put the case forward to release the car. This required some monetary persuasion ‘under the table’ to bring to a happy ending!!! 

The policeman in question, afraid of being seen receiving ‘under the table’ money then suggested to Jom that we meet him in the basement carpark at Robinsons Department Store. This was slowly becoming like a clip from a movie……

We walked the alley ways of the carpark, now knowing what we were looking for, when a very smart black saloon with even blacker windows pulled up along side us. The electric window slowly revealed the face of the policeman, who judging by the car he was driving had obviously done the rounds of Robinsons, many times before.

He signalled that we get in the back seat, which we duly did and passed him a ‘thank you’ note for helping sort out the problem. He then kindly drove us to where my rented pickup was parked and we went our separate ways.

My car was now released from the ‘pound’ and for a brief time was back in my possession.

(I was now totally pissed off by Golf and his bullshit and gave him the ultimatum to leave, however there was worse to come)

I now had the situation I had been dreading, that of the fact that not only the car, but the house was in his name. Also, the title deeds for the house were not where I had secured them, but had been taken by Golf.

A major confrontation then ensued and again, with the help of  Jom and his farang boyfriend we slowly started to unravel the deepening shit of the situation. Upon agreeing to ‘pay off’ Golf, (no money had changed hands at this stage) he finally admitted he didn’t have the title deeds to the house as they were being held by a bank from whom he had borrowed 400,000 Baht on the strength of the property.

I was, by now running out of ‘leave period’ and had to depart Phuket to return to work. Jom and his boyfriend were staying at the house whilst their own house was in building. We put together a formula which involved a complicated set of transactions, but which I couldn’t oversee due to my departure from the island, but which, with Jom and Pierre’s invaluable help, resulted in the ’Lending Bank’ being paid off and the title deeds returned. The house and land being signed over by Golf to Jom and most importantly, Golf’s departure. I finally gave Golf the car as a bargaining tool to have him sign over the title deeds of the house.

I did visit a lawyer towards the end of this whole debacle, who was furious that I had paid Golf anything at all. She pointed out that it could have been dealt with by the courts, however, I chose not to go down that route. By proving the money was transferred by me to Robin for the purpose of buying the house (which we could have done) the courts would have deemed the property mine and enforced Golf to relinquish his interest.

I can’t imagine the length of time this could have taken, not to mention the court and lawyer’s costs.  I also felt that my stupid heart had ruled my haggled brain and that part of the fault lay at my own door. Despite the cost of this crazy sequence of events, financially it had given me a twinge of pain, but not enough to need ‘pain killers’ and I have had the best part of seven years and hopefully many more of happy times in my home and heaven knows what Golf would have ultimately cost me had he still been around.

The Beachbum